The life we almost missed
by Sophia.Love.Linstead
Summary: Fall Finale short story. Linstead edition. Fear grips Erin when she learns the man she loves has been taken. She doesn't waste a second to step in and take the case.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I'm back from my cruise today! And I am so tired, and so don't want to go to work in the morning lol**

**Okay so I have 2 fall finale short story ideas. This is the first one... just the start. Let me know if you are interested in me continuing it... **

**I haven't watched and won't be watching the episode... so what I've heard on Twitter is my knowledge, then I'm taking creative liberties because they are my stories lol So if it doesn't make sense with the show, let it go haha**

My lungs burn as I stretch my legs, bringing home my run with a sprint down the last block.

Anger is flowing through my veins, fists clenching by my side. I jog up the stairs in the building, the run not yet having burnt off my anger at my earlier fight with Jay.

I sigh as I enter the apartment, listening for sounds of Jay. I curse under my breath when I hear him in the bedroom, my feet squeak on the floorboards as I walk towards our bedroom.

Jay barely glances up at me as he gathers his gun and badge and slings it on his hip.

"Hey." I whisper, leaning back against the doorframe, effectively blocking his exit.

"Can we do this later Erin? I'm late for work."

"No, you're not." He sighs heavily, rolling his head back.

"I'm not in the mood to continue the fight."

"I don't want to fight." I approach him slowly, moving my hands up to rest on his chest.

He stiffens momentarily before relaxing into my embrace.

"Could've fooled me."

"I didn't mean to get so defensive this morning."

"How else am I supposed to take the news that you want to move back to New York?" His words cut me deep, my heart aching at the pain in his blue eyes.

"I never said I want to move back, at least… not alone."

"You expect me to drop my life and follow you across country?"

"I haven't decided anything. They want to interview me for a promotion. I just want to fly to New York and take the interview."

"And what happens to us if you take the job?"

"You have to trust me. That I wouldn't make that decision without you."

"You have before." He scoffs at me.

"That was before this." I throw my hand in his face, showcasing my wedding ring.

"We weren't together. I was hurting. You'd left me… after some pretty big news about a past marriage you had came to light. So yeah, I left. I needed a fresh start."

"I was going to propose." My eyes close briefly.

"How was I to know that?"

"We've lost so much time."

"So, why are we wasting more? Let's not fight."

"Erin, I can't lose you again."

"You won't… I came back for you, for us. I have no intention on losing you again."

"I was so happy when I saw you at my dads funeral." He chuckles knowing the contrast there.

"I was upset you had been shot." I frown in return.

"I remember." He grabs my hand in his and presses his lips against them.

"Why did you come back?"

"We spent a few days together, and something was different with me. I couldn't tell what. I went back to New York… and as I walked into my apartment I felt hollow. Like a part of me was missing."

"Me." He smirks at me.

"No, the deep dish pizza." I giggle, leaning in to join our lips.

"So I put in for a transfer, took a gig here at the FBI field office. You know the rest." My eyes sparkle up at him.

_Flashback_

"_I feel sick."_

"_You've got this."_

"_Are you sure he still loves me?" I ask Kim anxiously._

"_Yes. Absolutely. And…"_

"_What?"_

"_I shouldn't say."_

"_Tell me, please."_

"_He was going to propose when you left for New York."_

"_What?" the air gushes out of my lungs, the world spinning around me._

"_Yeah. So I know he'll want you back in Chicago."_

"_He's the only reason I want to be back, giving up my fresh start."_

"_Gee, I'll try not to be hurt by that."_

"_Ha ha, you know what I mean."_

"_Good luck." Kim winks before pulling me in for a hug. _

_The minutes tick by as I wait for Jay to turn up, anxiously swirling around at the thought that maybe he won't._

"_Erin?" My heart explodes at just the sound of his voice, tears springing to my eyes because he turned up._

"_Jay, you came."_

"_I'll always come when you call." He hesitantly closes the distance between us. _

"_I've missed you." I whisper into the afternoon heat. _

"_I've missed you too, I was hoping you weren't going to go back to New York again after the funeral." He admits, the confession hanging between us._

"_What if I was to tell you that I was staying in Chicago?"_

"_What?" His breathy question clenches my gut, want pooling between my thighs after being deprived for too long._

"_I've applied for a job here, and I was offered it."_

"_Are you going to take it?" You can't miss his hopeful tone._

"_On one condition. If you do just one thing."_

"_Anything." His hands are in mine, our bodies a breath away from touching. I moan at the sensation of having found our groove so quickly._

_Our years as partners, always allowing us to know the other inside and out, and our special bond allowing us both to know the depth of our love. _

"_Marry me." The words are hard to get out, my heart beating wildly in my chest as I await his answer. _

"_I thought you'd never ask." He jokes, crushing my body to his. _

"_Is that a yes?" I pry his mouth away from mine, seeking clarification. _

"_Oh, definitely." He purrs at me, crushing my lips back on his._

_Our moans fill the silence around us, as he licks my lips to gain access after so long apart. _

**_A/N: Okay so this idea is that they are married but strained, when it happens with Jay. Continue?_**

**_The other one I have started writing, on my phone while I was drinking on holidays hahaha is when Kim calls Erin in New York saying Jay has been taken and she comes straight over with her team._**

**_Thoughts please._**

**_thank you :)_**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and Happy New Year. **

**READ THIS - IMPORTANT**

**I did lose motivation for this story but painstaking hours creating just this short chapter got me back into it, and notes are drawn up for the next chapter. **

**I have not seen the episodes, seen some random stuff online - and I don't plan on watching.**

**So I have made this up best I can - and I'm not that creative lol**

The life we almost missed – Chapter Two

Erin POV

I bite my lip anxiously as my flight is called, scrolling through my texts with Jay.

He hasn't replied all afternoon, my gut twisted up willing me to follow this up.

I hit the call button bringing the phone to my ear, closing my eyes in frustration when I'm greeted with his voicemail.

"Jay, babe. Are you okay? You haven't got back to me… if you're caught up in a case please just shoot me a quick message letting me know you're alright… or is this about this morning? Because I won't go to New York if that's the problem. You're worth more to me than any job. There's no life without you… just, call me back please."

I'm biting my thumbnail as I dial Kim's number, pacing while I wait for her to answer, the clicking of my heels echoing around me.

"Hey Erin." Her cheery tone calms my thoughts about the worst-case scenarios.

"Hey Kim, is Jay there?" My heart constricts worried his lack of replies could only mean he's still angry.

"No, he cut out early today."

"Oh okay."

"Wait shouldn't you be on a plane right now?"

"You know?"

"Yeah, Jay told me."

"Did he seem okay?"

"He wasn't angry Erin."

"Yeah? He hasn't hit me back in a few hours."

"He's proud of you, and he cut out early."

"Why?"

"I don't know." There's a hesitation to her voice.

"Kim, don't lie to me. I'm freaking out, and need to get on the plane."

"Damn it, he's setting up a surprise for when you're back."

"Oh."

"Yeah. You have nothing to worry about Erin."

"Okay thanks, I better go." I hang up racing toward the dwindling line when my phone buzzes in my hand.

I sigh when I see a text from Jay letting me know he's caught up in work and catch me later.

I smirk at the lie before brandishing my ticket for the lady at the gate.

* * *

I tap the dash of my car waiting for the light to change to red, trying Jay's cell again.

I hang up before leaving a voicemail, pressing the gas when the light turns green.

Once I pull into the car park, I grab the bag and head into the apartment smiling just thinking about the surprise on Jay's face when he gets home to see me here.

I'm still not sure exactly what impulse led me to leave the airport before getting on the plane, calling New York and asking to reschedule.

* * *

I check the time again; worry filling me for the second time today noting Jay should have been home an hour ago.

My eyes are glazed as I stare at the dinner and candles, shaking my head at the idea of trying to tap into the romance tonight.

My revelation this morning having put a strain on a relationship, a further strain than has been present since I've had to walk the same Chicago streets again haunted by my past.

There's no doubt in my mind we're meant to be, my desire to see what we could be in another city, away from our demons perhaps pushed him too far.

I unlock my phone to call Jay again when I pause, letting rationale take over for a moment, reminding me he thinks I'm on my way to New York right now and not due back for 24 hours.

The scotch twirls in my glass before I take a slow sip scrolling through our texts today, more from me then him.

The glass slips through my fingers at the last message, cursing myself for not catching it earlier.

_Sorry, caught up at work. See u later._

U not you.

It's only small but when you know someone inside and out, know every flaw, every annoyance – petty or not, and know what makes them tick. It's enough to know something's wrong.

He didn't send that text.

My phone is to my ear as I slip into my heels, collecting my things and racing to the door.

"Erin, aren't you in New York?"

"Long story. I'm in Chicago, I need you to run a trace on Jay's phone."

"What why?"

"No questions, _please_. Just run the trace and get the team into work. It's important."

"Okay. Erin, is everything okay?"

"No, no I don't think it is. I need you guys."

"Then we're here for you."

* * *

"What have we got?" I call as I enter the room, seeing my team here and ready.

"Erin, what's happening?"

"Jay's missing." The words feel foreign slipping through my lips, briefly thrown back to the time Al called with the news.

My mind is cast back to the bloody Jay I managed to rescue, scared he's enduring the same pain now and wishing badly to be able to save him again in time.

"What?"

"I don't have proof. I just know it. Please, what have we got?"

"His phone is off. Last ping was right here." He points to the screen.

"That's when I got that text."

"Phone turned off right after that."

"Have we got pod footage or security camera's anywhere on that block?" the question is out of my mouth as I watch my team engrossed in their computer screens.

"Yeah, I got some. Bringing it up."

"Pause that. Run it through slowly."

"Damn it."

"Is that someone following him?"

"Keep running it through, see if he is being followed."

"Should you reach out to Voight?"

"No, not yet. He'll assert himself into the case, and right now I don't think that'd be helpful."

"They might know something."

"They don't, he left work early. Someone build a timeline for me."

* * *

"Have you ID'd him?

"Yeah, does Marcus West ring a bell?"

"I feel like I've heard the name before."

"Jay arrested him."

"He's out?"

"Has been for 6 months."

"So revenge. Damn it. We need to get him back." I slam my hand on the desk, willing my tears away.

"Erin." Taylor kneels beside my chair.

"It's after midnight. They've had him eight hours… the things they are doing to him." Tears fall down my cheeks.

"We're going to find him."

"In time?" I turn my desperate gaze on her.

"God I should have noticed earlier."

"This isn't your fault."

"Have you finished searching Jay's computer?" I wipe my tears away, pushing myself up determined.

"Almost, never hacked into a police department computer before."

"Tonight there are no rules. We ask forgiveness, not permission."

"Understood. Okay so, not sure if you're gonna like this."

"What?"

"Jay's been looking into this case again."

"What? Why?" I frown, rubbing my forehead to try and rid myself of the ache.

"It looks like he's been going back over the case, looking into the evidence, interviewing witnesses again."

"The only reason he would do that is if he as worried about his conviction."

"The murder weapon was found in his apartment though."

"Let's not hash the case out, it won't help us now. I want a list of everyone important to him, and all known addresses."

"Let's start with the wife?" Taylor suggests.

"Let's wake her up."

**A/N: Please leave a review and let me know if you are enjoying and want to keep reading. **

**The next chapter will have more interesting content, more about getting Jay back.**

**Thank you :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Here's another update, I appreciate the reviews I've been getting.**

The life we almost missed – Chapter Three

Erin POV

"Let's do this." We jog up the stairs and I bang on the door loudly, peeking in the window seeing darkness. I pound louder, satisfied when a light turns on in the back of the house.

The door opens to Marcus West; my hand automatically reaches for my gun.

"Oh hell no. Not again." He's shaking his head as he opens the door.

"Marcus West. Special agent Erin Lindsay and Agent Taylor Evans. We need to ask you some questions."

"I've already been locked up by your people once for something I didn't do."

"This isn't up for debate." My foot stops the slamming of the door, before I push my way in.

"Come right on in Special Agent." The disdain and sarcasm is obvious in his tone.

"Where were you this afternoon?"

"A lot of places, and no where."

"Stop messing around. Why were you following Detective Jay Halstead?" I place a photo on the table, his eyes glancing down.

"So you already knew where I was." I raise an eyebrow.

"I'm not here to mess around. Why were you following Detective Halstead?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Just answer the damn question." Taylor raises her eyebrow beside me at my tone.

"It's not a crime."

"Actually it is."

"Maybe I just happened to be walking on the same street as him."

"For 5 blocks?" He just shrugs and leans back in his chair without a care in the world.

"I'm not leaving here without answers, I'd love to be leaning back in my chair feeling carefree… but I can't. Not while my husband is missing."

"What? Jay's missing?" I raise my eyebrow as he leans forward.

"Yes. Detective Halstead is missing."

"Oh shit, you're kidding."

"I wish I was." I twist my wedding rings.

"You're his wife?"

"Yeah."

"He's a good guy, he mentioned you."

"What? But he was the arresting officer in your case." I tilt my head, before turning to look at Taylor.

"Yeah. But he reached out to me last month. That's what we were doing today. Meeting."

"What?"

"I was following him to a second location, he was paranoid someone wanted him to stop looking into things or something. Or I guess maybe not so paranoid." I frown; confused and hurt Jay didn't open up to me about what he was doing.

"Things?"

"My innocence."

"He thought you were innocent?"

"Yeah. He said he started looking into my case again because something didn't feel right, he reached out."

"Were you angry?" I raise an eyebrow, trying to get a sense of this guy.

"At first, yeah I was. I'm not going to lie. I lost a lot of my life when he arrested me."

"Did he share anything with you about what he found?"

"No. Just asked me a lot of questions and said he had to talk to someone. To sit tight and he'd get back to me."

"Where's your wife Mr West?" Taylor cuts in.

"Ex wife. We're divorced."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"When I went to jail… things went south for her. Things weren't always stable with her, but that's when she turned from booze to drugs. They took our boy away."

"Where is he now?"

"Foster care. Jay's been helping… he's not sure things were by the book. I just want my son back Agent Halstead… sorry Lindsay was it?"

"Yeah, I haven't got around to changing it yet." I mumble with plenty of shame.

"For what its worth I want to see your husband found, he's a good guy. Not many cops would admit they were wrong, and he was helping me get a visit with my boy while he finishes sorting things out."

"Do you know where we can find your wife?"

"If she's not at her home, she's probably at a local bar drunk off her ass."

"Can you get me her address?"

"Sure thing."

* * *

"So either, he's the best damn actor in the world – and should win an Oscar."

"Or he's telling the truth." Taylor finishes for me.

I slam the car door in frustration.

"So, either there's some conspiracy here about the case he went away for, or his wife's involved. Classic revenge."

"You talking about a cop involved on that conspiracy?" Taylor questions me.

"Yeah… I'd say so."

"I don't want to believe that one. Would a cop really take Jay over this?" I don't answer so Taylor continues.

"Well we now know when Marcus left Jay, and he was fine then."

"I want Angela Nelson's phones tapped, and I want to track her down ASAP. I want to know everything about her."

"We'll find him Erin."

"We have to. I can't lose him." Tears burn my eyes as I turn the ignition thinking back to our turning point.

* * *

_Flashback – Pat Halstead's Funeral_

_My palms are sweating as I walk across the grass to the small crowd gathering at Pat Halsteads grave. _

_A bitter taste reaches my mouth as I see a blonde next to Jay, hand grasping his arm in comfort and support. _

_I walk slowly to the front, pulling Will in for a hug before turning to Jay, tears in my eyes and not having the courage to speak. _

_His blue eyes are shining with tears, as we say so much in the silence stretching between us. I settle in beside him, hoping I didn't make a mistake not hanging back in the crowd until after the funeral._

_Jay's hand intertwines with mine, grip firm as I feel his weight leaning against my arm, seeking my warmth and comfort._

_I reach my other arm around us to bring his head onto my shoulder, resting my head on his. _

"_I've got you." I whisper so quiet, only for his ears._

* * *

_I haven't left Jay's side all day, even through the awkward conversations at Molly's. The endless condolences saved me from having to do more than hold Jay's hand in mine. _

_The silence is too loud as we stand outside his apartment door._

"_Thanks for today." He whispers as he unlocks his door._

"_I wouldn't be anywhere else." He pauses in the doorway, eyes staring intensely into mine before he turns and walks further into his apartment._

_My disappointment is short lived when I notice he's left the door open as an unspoken invitation. _

"_I didn't know how much I needed you today, until I saw you." His back is to me while he fixes us a drink._

"_I know."_

"_How?" His voice is broken as he turns to me._

"_Because I would have needed you if roles were reversed." I swallow back my tears as he passes me my scotch, watching him drop to the couch and run a hand through his hair. _

"_Why did you leave?" his voice is broken._

"_I don't know." I jump as his drink slams onto the table._

"_Bullshit."_

"_I thought I knew why. Told myself those reasons every god damn day. Until I saw you today, and realized what total crap it really was. Truth is, I don't know why I left. I can wish everyday I didn't, but I did and I can't change that." Tears burn my eyes. _

"_Can't you?" I brush my tears away before taking a seat beside him._

"_You didn't say goodbye."_

"_There's no way on earth I could have looked at your face, and left." He's silent for a moment as he searches my eyes. _

"_What's the lies you told yourself?"_

"_That it's too painful to be in Chicago, haunted by my past. That I was doing it for a mother who didn't deserve it… and that, you didn't want me anymore anyway… so why torture myself everyday? Being so close to you, but not close enough. Never close enough. Not after what we shared. I couldn't go back to just partners."_

"_I couldn't either. I really fucked things up." The bitterness in his voice is matched by his eyes. _

"_The life we could have had…"_

* * *

_It's been another twenty-four hours before I manage a smile from Jay, his arm brushing against mine on the couch, and some tense atmosphere leaving the air. _

_A few more hours from there and our postures are relaxed, laughs slipping out, and falling back into old habits._

_The safety and warmth I feel in his presence wraps my heart, and tugs on it painfully when my phone dings with notification of my flight home. _

_His eyes catch sight of my phone, and I watch some of the hostility from before slip back into place. _

_I open the reservation and push my flight by a few days, before turning to Jay and asking what he wants for dinner. _

_He gives me this soft smile, which from knowing him so well, I know it's an invitation to his bed tonight, rather than the couch I camped out on the night before. My hotel room hasn't been touched passed checking in and dropping my bags off._

"_I forgot how good you look in my clothes." He smirks, as we get ready for bed, nervous anticipation swirling in my belling at the prospect of being back in his arms. _

"_I look good in everything. Or nothing." I smirk at his wide eyes before sliding into his bed._

_Hours fly by as we catch up on each other's lives, the adventures we've missed, and my jealousy surfaces whenever he mentions his partner._

"_There's nothing going on there." He finally whispers, reading my thoughts as he reaches out and runs his fingers down my face._

_I scrunch my nose._

"_I wasn't jealous."_

"_Yeah you were."_

"_Maybe. But I don't know why… it could be because she's your partner now. There was a time I thought it wouldn't be anyone but me."_

"_That same time I thought we'd still have our happily ever after."_

"_Is it too late?" Much like his questions to me the night before, mine also goes unanswered. _

_I'm not sure who made the first move, but seconds later our lips are pressing together urgently. _

_My tongue seeks his out greedily as our hands roam under our clothes._

_His hiss in pain and the feel under my fingertips has me pulling away, his groan turning into disappointment. _

"_Are you hurt?" I frown at him, reaching to turn the light._

"_No, I'm fine." I glare at him as I pull up his shirt, frowning at the bandages._

"_Have you been shot?" My voice raises a few octaves._

"_Yes. It's not serious."_

"_When? Why didn't anyone tell me?"_

"_Because it's not serious."_

"_You got shot, it's serious."_

"_Hank took me off my dads case. So I went after him myself."_

"_And got shot."_

"_We shot each other… Haley found me."_

"_So you blacked out?"_

"_I… passed out."_

"_Damn it, why did he take you off the case? That's more dangerous than letting you tag along where they could keep an eye on you." I store away a lecture for Hank next time I see him. _

"_You know what he's like."_

"_With only you it seems."_

"_How long were you out for?" Fear clutches my throat._

"_Not long." I feel this ache in my chest, from the fear of losing him. That the call I received could have been for his funeral, not his fathers. _

_A life of regrets flashing past my eyes, more than I had already. _

_I lean forward, kissing him softly and navigating my body over his, not being able to resist the urge anymore. His body instantly reacts to my advances, our bodies aching for each other's._

* * *

_I stare into my coffee, feeling joy from the nights of passion and pleasure we have shared, and despair at the thought of leaving today. _

_Jay and I have already shared our goodbye, his eyes already closed back off to me, protecting him from the hurt. _

_I bring up my flight, feeling drawn to Jay and hesitant to leave back to New York. _

_A smile lights my face as I cancel my flight, knowing in my heart I've made the right decision. _

**A/N: I hope you have enjoyed! I'm shedding some light into how they came back together too. **

**Please leave me a review, let me know your thoughts and let me know if you're keen for me to finish this up.**

**Thank you :)**


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